Checking in

The last time I updated my blog was 42 days ago – the 22nd March 2020, and was my first official day of isolation – lock down – quarantine – whatever you may call it. My text arrived from the NHS saying that I was in the high risk category of severe illness if I should catch coronavirus and to remain home for 12 weeks. That ‘get out of jail’ date will be 15th June 2020. How bizarre this was. It was such a strange feeling knowing you’re classed as vulnerable yet I am feeling well, I feel great in fact but now everything was changing. My life had changed again by things that I had no control over – it was all very surreal.

My sister said ‘We are all riding the same storm but we are all in different boats’. Which is a good way of looking at it. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Everyone copes with their circumstances in their own ways. Many families are in a similar situation to my own and many families have to deal with a great deal more. People have lost family members and have not been able to be with them to say their goodbyes, family members having to move out of their homes as keyworkers  so they can continue to work and protect the vulnerable members of their family. It is a different experience of us all.

It is good to see that in times of crisis we see many people at their best pulling together to support one another through this difficult period. I have clapped and cheered, shouted oggi oggi oggi!!, and banged my saucepan for the NHS and other keyworkers every Thursday – like so many of us. It brings a shiver every time and I am proud to stand with my neighbours to say thank you – all be it hanging out my lounge window!

I have only been out twice and both times it was for my treatment – I was so excited! I put on something other than pyjamas or joggers!, put my make up on and even my false eyelashes – all for 2 hours of treatment!! Thankfully I am still able to continue with my treatment and all appears well. The nurses are amazing and keep everyone’s spirits up despite having to wear the protective gowns, masks and goggles.

Life continues as best it can. We are getting used to this temporary new normality. But we mustn’t become complacent. It is now 4 weeks since the lockdown was announced and subsequent extension. I am not a politician, doctor or scientist, and I do not want a debate about the rights and wrongs of restrictions and who or how the rules should be followed – I am an ordinary woman who has been forced in to quarantine with stage IV cancer who wants to live life to the full – as we all do – and not to be restricted to my own 4 walls.

This situation has made me appreciate all sorts of things that I would normally take for granted, even the simplest thing as being able to answer your own front door!

It has come up to that time again – the MRI and PET/CT scans. 3 months goes so quickly! On Monday I get to go out again! This time for my MRI scan in town. I am really grateful that this is still able to go ahead and hasn’t been delayed. The result will follow by a telephone consultation with my consultant. Fingers crossed it will still tell that the tumour is non-active and nothing is happening – Scanxiety has been setting in for the past week or so – and I haven’t been in a great place. This scan will be 9 months after my brain tumour was diagnosed and my gamma knife treatment finished. My Doctor said that 60% of tumours come back between 6 and 12 months. I feel really well with no headaches or dizziness and I am being ‘good’ to my body (apart from flipping sugar!!) so hopefully the scan results will be positive. My PET/CT scan for my body is on the 18th May and again I am hoping for more positive news. I will keep you posted!

I am currently writing this sat in my garden. The sky is blue, the birds are singing, dinner is prepared and I am pretty relaxed (for once!) Today is a good day. I am feeling lucky surrounded by people who love me. So guys, feel blessed, we are safe, we are loved.