Chapter 3…

One of the things that cancer patients dread is being told that their treatment has stopped working and there is progression and so you go on to the next option, treatment/chemo drug available to you. Well, this is where I am at. My recent scans showed that I have a new liver tumour and the existing two have become more active although they haven’t grown. So that is positive news but the fact that they have company is not so good!

Thankfully there are still several options for me and the one my oncologist is favouring is a chemo drug called Enhertu. This is now my third line of treatment and started on Wednesday 28th September 2022. So back on intravenous chemo. All chemo drugs have their side effects, and this one is no different. Everyone reacts differently – up to now I have been very lucky in that I haven’t really suffered with too many side effects and hopefully this will continue. Complete hair loss is not one of the major side effects so hopefully I will have hair this Christmas!!

Things were going well until day 5! I had some kind of a reaction to the drug, or perhaps it was just a blip, but it was a very unpleasant experience – one I wasn’t expecting and one I don’t want repeated! I became very hot, clammy, sweaty, disorientated and my breathing became laboured and slightly erratic, and I felt like I was going to pass out. So, Neil came and collected me from work and brought me home. It took almost the whole week to feel back to my normal self, but I am now fine and feel as if nothing happened! I suppose I needed the reminder that I am not invincible! and that I am human, someone living with a life limiting illness and whilst these drugs are helping prolong my life they do come with their own set of problems! I still feel incredibly lucky and hopefully it was only a blip, but we will see what happens after my second infusion next week. At least I will be prepared and know what to look out for should this become a regular ‘blip’.

“I’m under no illusion about my situation, but to be limited by it isn’t an option either” (Kris Hallenga)

Everyone deals with their own situations in their own ways, and I am no different. I know that over time I will have to change the ways I do things – but for now I am well and whilst I can control what I do, and I can do it – I will. I do listen to my body and take time out, rest etc when I have to, but whilst I am in control, I will carry on like I always have. People say I am ‘amazing’, but I’m just me – I need to continue with my ‘normality’ and keep that control whilst I can. Perhaps that makes me seem like I’m ‘amazing’, or perhaps I am being ‘naive’ or even ‘stupid’ but whilst I can – whilst I am able to do so – I will carry on.

‘You may see my struggle, but you will never see me quit..’