There I am

After my ‘blip’ I told my nurses what happened and to say they weren’t very happy with me for not telling them straight away is a bit of an understatement! I had a week off work, but I ended up having lots of tests, blood tests, MRI, ECG to see if I had had a TIA (mini stroke). It wasn’t restful and was in fact rather stressful and I was glad to get back to work! It never crossed my mind that something like that could happen to me, and it did frighten me a bit, so it had to be checked out due to my reaction and I am very thankful to say that it wasn’t a TIA or a stroke.

I had my second infusion of Enhertu and was somewhat apprehensive while I waited to see what – if anything was going to happen this time. Day 5 came and went so thankfully the first reaction was hopefully a one off. However, this time the fatigue was overwhelming – I continued to work and go about my life as best I could but I looked unwell, I was absolutely exhausted, I didn’t want to speak to anybody, and I did everything at a very slow pace. This began on day 3 and lasted almost a week. Then I seemed to turn a corner and gradually became stronger and this last week I am me! I feel good, happy, well, not exhausted although the tiredness remains, and I have even put some makeup back on!! I feel like the old Ali and it has been a good few weeks since I last saw her!! Maybe this will be the pattern that this new drug will take. I can cope with one bad week as you can plan your daily life around this exhaustive time – and so with my next infusion this Wednesday we shall see what happens this time.

And now for one side effect I only half expected was complete hair loss. I knew my hair would thin but whilst I was in the shower about 2 weeks ago it was like cousin It and me!! This was more than hair thinning! So now I have a close number 2 and we will see what happens. I have lost my hair 3 times before, so it is not a real upset this time, but it is the visual element to others. While I start wearing my hats again it is an outward show of what I am going through, and I don’t want peoples’ pity or anyone feeling sad for me. I am not ashamed of what it represents, of what I am battling on a daily basis, but I am proud to be ‘bald’ and living my best life. I will keep fighting with faith, hope and courage.